I would like to welcome horror author Jake Bannerman, here to promote his short story/prose anthology THE PITCHFORK DIARIES. In the mind of this horror reader/author/fan, Bannerman's work seems to breed together the splatterpunk stylings of cult shock-author Edward Lee (BULLET THROUGH YOUR FACE) and the ultra-weird storytelling of Carlton Mellick III (author of SATAN BURGER), spawning a completely new beast. Sit back and enjoy the mayhem!
FIGHT, FUCK, WORSHIP SATAN!
BY JAKE BANNERMAN, AUTHOR OF THE PITCHFORK DIARIES
Oh, now that is an offensive title now, isn’t it? Fighting is so violent, fucking is pornographic and good heavens above, why on earth would you want to worship Satan?!
But think for just thirty seconds thing about that phrase!
Fight for Freedom
Holy Hell - did we just stumble upon everything that we believe in and that we live for?
Would you fight for your family? Of course you would!
Would you fight for sex? Ever watched ‘Cops’? Yes, we fight for sex; it makes the world go around, and if you need an example of wars fought over sex, then you are not paying attention!
Satan, Buddha, Allah, or even Elvis Costello - we worship whomever we want, and we have slaughtered millions over the history of mankind (mostly in the name of Jesus, the so-called ‘Prince of Peace’, I might add!) to have this freedom!
But wait one second, here - this is an atrocity! These are the very things that we teach our children not to do! They are told that they must be peaceful, love Jesus and not have sex! And now, this is Important, with a capital I. What do kids and adults alike do when not being watched? Oh, you know the answer!
So, if you and your friends want to do something really offensive, print up a shirt or bumper sticker that says ‘Think, be original, worship no god and respect yourself!’ Now, that really will offend many people, because it threatens their power-hungry minds and convictions!
I am not trying to be a square; I say drink it, snort it, smoke it, fuck it! Just do not be ashamed of those things that you have been told are offensive. Be afraid of the truth. MANKIND IS OFFENSIVE!
So, to end this little rant - next time you see something that offends you, break it down and look for the meaning. You might actually find that you agree with it.
The Guts of Christ
An Excerpt by Jake Bannerman
The rumor had been flying around for a long time, gathering strength by the day until out of nowhere the Life Corporation, a previously unknown Japanese company held a three hour press conference on Japanese television. Clandestine videos of the conference had spread virally on YouTube and other media sources, but nobody knew for sure whether they were genuine. The shocking claims that were being made by this energetic young company were almost impossible to comprehend, yet alone believe.
They were purporting to have found a vitamin that would give eternal life. ‘Heaven Can Wait’ was the company’s catchphrase. At the conference they produced several people all claiming to be between two and three hundred years old and doctors from all over world verifying the authenticity of this miracle drug. It not only gave eternal life. The company assured the world that it could cure any disease known to man from cancer to AIDs.
And what was most remarkable of all was that the Life Corporation wanted no money; all they wanted was for everyone to have free access to this miracle drug, even children as young as three years old were able to take it safely, they claimed.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Born and raised in the church, J.S. Bannerman has taken the dangerous stance to question events that have been spoon fed to him as the truth since his childhood. He continually pushes boundaries as a purveyor of terror and often strives to find that disquietude that exists inside each one of us.
He is a nomad, calling no one place home; choosing the life of a traveler while on the mission of writing the Family of Dog series. As a result you may find him in your town, writing at your local pub, crafting tales of horror so terrifyingly depraved and heartbreakingly cruel that you would never believe that they come from a mind as normal as his. Just beware, because within each tale is a message; it’s just up to you to figure out what it means.
Early Praise for The Pitchfork Diaries:
“It’s refreshing to find a multifaceted storyteller that can tie together a multitude of different genres. J.S. Bannerman leaves no stone unturned and attacks any subject that his mind lays purchase to. He weaves a brilliant story each and every time that pulls you in and keeps you engaged.”
Author of Days with the Undead
Find the Author Online at:http://familyofdog.blogspot.com/
Purchase the Kindle edition HERE
Buy on Smashwords HERE
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